Gratitude

To my loved ones, friends

and even strangers,

who have touched my life.

I am gratified

that in my sufferings,

your time and resources, and prayers seem like gifts from above.

In the end, there will be no tears

sad notes, mournful words,

no remorse for what you

could have done.

Life is too short

for all human dreams,

but it is better by far

to leave behind

love that bind us.

I feel heaven’s hold

And hear its call ~

beautiful and serene…

There are no words

with which to speak

or write about it.

This entry is dedicated to all those people whose time I have wasted listening to all my vents, rages, angst, frustrations, and hopes. You know who you are. Kung wala kayo, marahil ay baliw na ako.

Friends come and go but there are some you would want to keep forever but though you want to keep that person in your life that person doesn't usually agree to that and you end up wondering if they are worth the importance you've given to them in your life.

How can someone be such an essential part of our life and just vanish the next day? If I knew the answer to this I won't be having a hard time dealing with losing someone but I don't so I feel all miserable about it. I'm not good at handling new emotions and going through with this is something I don't know how to deal with. I'm not saying I never lost someone before but not in these circumstances. I would have easily accepted it if I did something really terrible but I don't recall doing that. I wish I know how to quit her but I can't. I know I'm being pathetic and ridiculous and is really damaging my ego but for some unknown reason I can't seem to just let go.

Things were said that no one ever intended to say and yet they were uttered and it brought about such emotional stress to the people involved. If it were up to me I won't let that get in a way of a good friendship but it was not up to me this time. She had made her decision and there's nothing I say or do can change that. Undoubtedly her decision to end it will cause me pain but it's something I have to accept and there's no use dwelling on it. Right now I just have to try my best not to think about her and I'll keep myself occupied with other things. I'll miss her for sure but life goes on.

Though I lost one friend last week another old friend had came back yesterday or more like I decided to contact her and meet up with her. Friends like her are the ones I should ensure I don't lose because in spite of us not seeing each other for months she's always on call when I need her around. Actually the reason why I asked her to have lunch with me is that I didn't want to stay at home because I might be tempted to try to contact the person who wants me not to talk to her. We talked for hours while I was passing time before I pick up my younger sister from school. It's always nice to know that there are people you can count on any time you need them and it's always nice to catch up on old times. Actually at one point in time we considered each other the best of friends and I'd always be her friend in school projects during high school and we've known each other since grade school. Originally she was a friend of my sister but when we were in high school we became close and we've been good friends ever since.

Stubbornness is never a good trait and so is too much persistent. I know eventually I'll get over this and just hope it's soon. I wish that when I wake up in the morning I'll stop remembering that person.

I even find myself thinking about the people who became a part of my life. Those who are still around, those who became a part of my past and those I want to just let go and be part of yesterday.

Indeed there are many people who became a part of my life and now I'm left to thinking who among them was worth knowing and keeping in my life. Some of them I've totally forgotten and stop being friends with, there are some who I try to forget but one way or the other they manage to haunt my thoughts. Right now I'm thinking of making one of them part of those people who just came in to my life, thought me something, I've learned to love and care for but will be best if she's out of my life for good.

You see I have this tendency to get too attached to people sometimes and yet I know that I'm literally wasting my time, effort, and money on that person but still I would insist on being friends with that person.

The problem with this whole forgetting about someone business is that you can't make it easy for anyone. You'll either get hurt or you'll end up hurting someone. The annoying thing about this is that you'll end up missing the person and even though you resolve to distant yourself from her and find other things to do, you still end up wondering about how she is doing and thus starting over a cycle.

A cycle of caring, being worried, being annoyed, being disappointed, and any other feelings you can think of. One thing hard about letting someone be a part of your life and opening yourself up to that person and eventually caring for that person is that you open yourself to disappointments.

I'm not even going bother explaining what I'm feeling now. I'm tired of that and besides even though I try to explain things to that person won't get what I'm trying to say, it always get misinterpreted so I'll keep quiet and will just one day stop talking to her. I think one less person to think about and stress over will be good for me. Besides there are still better friends left whom I should be giving more attention to. The only thing regretful about is the friendship is that you weren't able to do what you want to do to help the person out. It wouldn't be all that bad if you were able to make a difference in her life or at least help her with the mess she's in but then waiting for that to happen will just cause more unnecessary stress so I can't wait for that anymore and besides I'm tired of it.

On a related note: These lines describe how I feel for her. *winks*
I know I've done my very best to save my friend from that asshole If I'm not mistaken that bf he has right now is influencing her to disobey her parents.The whole thing about that bf has been going on far too long, don't you ever get tired of it? of course I'm very tired of reminding her and be her shoulder to cry on whenever that bf does something stupid such as cheating her and asked money from my dear little pathetic friend.

I'll give her time to be on her own this time, I just don't push it anymore. I'm going to distance myself from her and now is the time to do that. Giving up on her does not mean admitting defeat, it just means that I'm smart enough to accept things is not working out as I want it to be. ..

After all there this freedom that comes with age, and what am i going to do with all that? Be happy and never disobey your parents, especially they're the people would always be there for you no matter what happens.And keeps a select of good friends, including those from childhood and try myself to be open to new friendship. Anyway, I don't think I'll be journaling here... cause I'd be very busy to finish the marketing research I might not be able to post often in the coming days.=)

Is this the modern Pinay?

Filipino Women in general are strong – willed and independent. They perceive a career as measure of achievement and self worth. They decide for themselves.

Based on a study conduct by geiser, Filipino women today are modern in terms of their outlook on gender equality but tend still to be conservative particularly in relationships.

Their focus remains to be on relationship with their parents and the welfare of their family. This situates today’s Pinay as part of the evolving women group in Asia. Most Filipino women perceive themselves to be part of a growing trend ~ a sense of liberation in career and society.

The ACNielsen Worldwide study showed that women in Asia are clearly more independent, know what they want and are not afraid to speak their minds. They may still hold dear to their traditional values such as filial piety, respect of the family and performing their duties as good wife, mother and daughter but many have breakthrough to see the importance of personal fulfillment and self-actualization throughtheir career and social work.

We are seeing across markets that women are enjoying being a women and thinking about what they want to get out of their lives. Hong kong, Taiwan and Singapore women are most advanced in terms of their status and position as women in their societies. Chinese women are fast catching up and the evolving groups of women are those from our country together with Thailand and Malaysia.

Acnielsen findings revealed that Philippines have the highest number of women earning more than their spouses, followed by Singapore. Filipino women agree that even if married, they should have savings of their own. They see the financial independence guarantees one’s security. However they believe that money does not dictates who wears the pants in the relationship.

Women in the Philippines (together with Malaysia) are most positive about marriage. When asked which Filipino women would prefer – a great body or beautiful face – preferences are more even. For a Pinay, inner beauty counts more than physical appearance. Beauty is equated with confidence and intelligence.

Out of 10 Filipinas, 5 out of them are the modern day Darna – these women aim to balance career and family life. Their career gives them pleasure and a sense of achievement but they still feel that it is still the family that matter most; and the others are the classic Maria Clara who embodies a more subdued personality and outlook in life. So who are you among the clusters that mentioned above? You’d probably have a guess by now.

This looks like the area I’ll be staying at. So this the center of the universe, huh?view of SFO financial district...

Oh well, I'm going to eat my Lunch

Good news! I woke up at 4:45 this morning. haha That was an achievement. I've been waking up most of the time at 6:45 A.M. so I could be there in the office at 9:30 A.M. my call time to work. That explains why I'm feeling a little happier because I have very nice scheduled that I'm sure a lot of people will love to be traded places with me.

It's been a busy month for me. I obviously don't have the luxury of time to update some of my blogs. A lot's been going on - occupying my mind. I've been through one heck of a roller coaster ride these past few weeks. It mostly concerns my work really..I've been thrust to a position I hardly had training for. I'm still feeling my way through. But I'm learning. Like I said before - I just need time.

I am not alive to please other people. I am alive to please God. I am here to give God glory. But I have failed countless times. And He has forgiven me countless times too. I serve a magnificent God. There is nothing I can do to make God love me more. But there is also nothing I can do to make God love me less. What a comforting fact.. God is so good!

My work is draining only because it's a five-day work-week. My only rest day is Sunday and Saturday is time for school.But I'm not complaining. I'm learning a lot of new things.

Do you know that ampalaya is a Juice? Since our company preparing a campaign Health 101, well our team assigned to study all the herbal and a lot of stuff.That's what I've been up to this past few days: learning all the plants and the natural benefits of it.I have also been acquainting myself with the processes that goes on in and out of the research. A whole new jargon to master..Two more weeks in the research then gather the information!!! Then I'm on the way to finish..



my drink for lunch is fresh ampalaya with tomato juice. so yeah. today i pureed three fresh tomatoes (sans seeds) and two ampalaya and produced 14 ounces of really disgusting taste*drinks a bit* and here i am left staring at fourteen ounces of devil juice. But if you want a clear skin na!... NOW na! and i want my future children to have clear skin too. i can picture them hating me na.





my lunch is look liked a hamburger, but that's oaltmeal.Ash-Wednesday na po.

Oh well, I'm going back to eat my meal and I'll end this here.

Save the Words

Got this from Ms. Ong:




From now on, I'm making you learn to type properly.Now, I'm not saying that you can't slip up sometimes... if you make some typos, that's okay; no one's perfect. But ignoring every single rule of the English language is not cool. I don't care if you aren't good at typing yet... Use the fingers correctly as a chance to teach yourself how to type properly!

Type in proper English. Here is a small summary:

1.) Capitalize and punctuate as close to what you know is correct. If you slip up it's okay, but if ALL your posts show that you aren't even trying, you may be in trouble.
2.) If you have significant difficulties with spelling, please use a spellchecker each time you post. Occasionally not knowing how to spell something and/or making typos is fine, just so long as it's completely accidental.
3.) Go easy on the internet shorthand. Write out "you" and "thanks" and "are" rather than "u" "thx" "r" and etc. Things like 'lol' and other abbreviations are fine as long as they don't absolutely dominate your posts.

Have fun!! I know all these rules seem like a lot to keep in mind, but if you just use your head you'll be fine. Happy Use of the internet as a place to make friends and enjoy yourself... there are lots of other people that want to do the same.

Seriously I can't BELIEVE it was Fun!

I am posting again another quiz result that I took only few minutes ago.It's showed really the desired things of your heart, quite frankly, I can't believe it.

Dynamic
Leader

I guess what the result of that test is that all those who have taken the time out to read this is that life is many things but it is least of all what we expect it to be NOW! Many of us are in a rush to find the RIGHT job, the RIGHT person, the RIGHT life...but do we really need to have everything in order all the time, all at once? In a movie I once watched they said..."the best things in life are total mistakes" and I agree..:) Make mistakes, open your mind, think out of the box, take leaps, give in, let go, live up to your strengths, have the grace to accept your weaknesses, know when enough is enough and when it is time to push...we grow from mistakes, we are who we are because we had fallen and learned to stand amidst it all.