It's funny that I write this now.

You know I watch these anime cartoons, but one......one hits almost too close to home. it hits two things in my mind. first off.....why is it that I see those which I see, feel those who I feel, sense that which I sense.....and Know those things I know. why is it that a)certain people can do so, and b)why do we? now second thing that gets to me, Are those what I see, sense.....will they go after those whom are in my family, or those whom are connected to me in multiple ways.

Knowing what I experience, knowing what.......I ......must do......it brings me dread in the back of my mind. I know that I have to do....there is no mistake, and I know at least a few people understand.....when you are given something, one must use it for the good of those around you, and those precious..... in a sense, not only must you protect those whom are important, but you also must protect those who cannot.

On the approach of one of those...in some religious spheres...most holy of day where you give back to the earth, and other religions, the day where spirit power is at most pinnacle, and then to some....the most evil day, as specters, demons roam the earth.......I don't care to which on describes to, but I know in part of it, Christmas for me, in a partial view, a day for doing nothing, to give back, and to meditate on what is, and will be, though....knowing there is those whom will use it to bend the spirit world to their wish. it is those, that I must concentrate on not just me, but also to watch for others.


I know some of the responses I am going to get....I understand the worry. I know, boy do I know, you play with certain things, forces unknown fully, unseen to most, there is a possibility of loosing...especially when a lone wolf anymore. the time is coming, I have been feeling this for a long time, there used to be writing on my white board, that is now filled with TV schedules, pin-ups, invader zim magnets, school schedules, work info....big, bold letter...the end is truly near. I am not just saying end of the world, of the whole christian belief, but I also know about there is going to be a meta-physical end.


I no longer feel as though I am in correct phase, haven't felt so in....so very long......feeling of missing the feel of being in on real or the other....to be honest is making me feel....sad. a feeling I have been trying so long or avoid with anti-depressants....could be the withdrawal of the Prozac, but I doubt it.....it has been long enough that the Prozac is no longer in my system.......why am I out of phase....I feel like I am slipping between, and just do NOT have full mind in either.

I have a sense I know when things will end, and a feeling it is not far.....it is a surreal feeling.....knowing....when you know....you aren't scared....if yeah catch my idea...if not....ask I will try to explain. it is a feeling that you cannot mistake.




On the left, ROCK LEE - Konoha's model of hard work. On the right, his rival, Neji Hyuuga, talented rookie-genius of the Hyuuga Clan


There are more people out there realize that have just been frightened into keeping silent about it and ignoring it. Others have embraced it, but for the wrong reasons. That leaves people like me.